First, a few updates from my life before we dive in to it. Not too long ago, world-reknown-award-winning comedienne Joan Rivers wrote a book called "I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me" and I've never read such a spectacle in all my life (sadly, this is the honest truth), which promted me to not only drown my sorrows in a jar of Nutella, but to also come back here. I have a voice, and no matter how many person(s) listen to it, I'm going to use it.
So Easter is coming around, and I don't know about you all, but I am fed up with the human population. I really do hate everyone, especially what people have turned Easter, or any other religious holiday, into. Disclaimer: no, I do not hate the holiday itself, for the original purpose of it and the practices all associated with it are very enlightening and have the potential to better yourself as a morally ethical human being. However, that being said, since this is planet Earth, and since I live in a city infested with miniature wanna-be Italian Snookis and Pauly Ds and their relatives, who have also managed to convert some Latinos, Blacks and Asians into wanna-be Italian Snookis and Pauly Ds (shame on you, Asians, I actually liked you better before. Now that you're introduced to hair gel, and now that blacks are introduced to tanning, I weep for the future...and just take a moment to let sink in black people wanting to tan), I am forced to put up with with Satan's wrong-doings, so pardon me for just a minute.
For starters, if you've already read how I felt about Christmas, this will be nothing new to you. Same crap, different toilet. I first want to talk about hypocrites, or the tourists of religion. Another disclaimer: I am not talking about atheists or people who actually take religion seriously. This is a whole other debate that is completely unnecessary. I actually have respect for BOTH parties...why? They can actually make up their minds and stand by what they think with evidence. But to you tourists: really? Who the hell are you? At Church recently, you get all of these politics put into practice with these inbred-hillbilly-Italian folks. I don't know who you think you are, but getting your imported Palm Sunday palms from Italy (yet again another facepalm), hoarding all of the other free palms for your 17th cousins you never see, blessed bread and good seats does not make you a good person. You think you're gaining respect? Everybody hates you! The way I see it, if you're only going to dedicate yourself to a religious service a handful of times a year, that's your business, because I am aware of many circumstances that prevent people from going frequently, but don't come inspecting and critiquing MY life and making yourself seem like God's greatest gift to humanity. We all know the answer to that is the inventor of chocolate.
Some Darwinians say that the Hottentot Venus was the most unevolved form of the human species but I think this takes the cake. You knew this was coming.
The next thing I want to address is "the flashers," aka: the people who try so hard to get themselves noticed (please see above). These are mainly the people who wear so many matching crosses around their necks and may even had them tattooed on themselves. These are also the same people who give ten thousand dollars in one religious ceremony and actually think they don't have a chance of being smitted by God because they think they've done their one good deed for life (these people may also have been getting intoxicated on salvia-laced joints, Jager and Grey Goose, and shooting up heroin in the back of an overly expensive limo with a bunch of self-conscious-step-daddy abused 17 year olds, when they evidently needed to go to their one mass a year the next day). I have a theory: the more religious jewelry someone wears indicates a higher level of swaying away from what they actually claim to practice. The people who actually wear the symbols of their religion are the first ones who don't know where their religion even comes from. Irony at its finest. Some of these people want to be the first to get their palms blessed by the priest, but may also be intravenous-drug-induced-prostitute-addicted-HIV-positive-Jersey-Shore-quoting-self-tanning-potential-alcoholics-anonymous patients. These people may also believe that a degree in cinema studies and/or geography will make them and their unfortunate offspring millionaires. I love hypocracy. To the people who portray this look but in actuality are kind, non-self invovled and religious, I clap for you...whoever you may be, because I've never met any of you in my life.
Lastly, I want to talk about the materialism associated with Easter and how this has sadly incorporated its way into the already flawed Canadian educational system. I remember when I was in elementary school, with the 95% of my class whom I loathed, that we had to colour in pictures of Easter eggs, Easter bunnies, Easter birds, Easter food, and then randomly a picture of Jesus with his hands in the air, smiling, raising the roof, with no look on his face whatsoever of him just being stabbed to death. I look back now and am able to partially answer the question as to why I am so emotionally crippled. Easter is not about bright colours, hanging around birds and bunnies and food and acting all happy and cheery, for this is merely the synopsis of a Courtney Love acid trip. Easter is about DEATH! ACCEPT IT! Learn about it early on! In fact, the Catholic School Board and a bunch of parents groups in Toronto had a shit fit when they found out some teachers actually wanted to show Mel Gibson's "The Passion of Christ," the actual bloody version, which realistically may be one of the most accurate video depictions of anything associated with Catholicism in history (due to the slightly more graphic nature of this film compared to the guido photo, I will not be posting a picture of it here. There's Google for that). God forbid we show these kids the truth, let's just let them grow up oblivious and scarred. When/If I have kids, as soon as he mentions the Easter Bunny or Santa Clause or anything else associated with this consumeristic scam of a holiday, I will be the first to say "It's all a lie! Don't believe what little Becky Johnson said, even if she did promise you a boobie rub!" I will raise my kids the RIGHT way, the "this world is going to suck so that's why I'm preparing you now to make it a better and more morally sound place" kind of way.
That is all for today. FYI: I mainly foccussed on Easter today because it is coming up, it's a statuatory holiday in Canada, and it's the one I have the most first hand experience with, I did not intentionally segregate anyone else. Just remember: you are free to practice any life you choose, for you are morally obligated to do so. However, part of that moral obligation is being committed to it and being able to handle any sort of criticism that comes your way. For those of you who know me, I have a very open mindset, especially for someone who is religious. I have seen first-hand what not being committed to any path of life has done to some people, and it is a scary sight to see, trust me. Just be who you are, and be damn good at it.